Being Alone

As a single woman edging ever closer to thirty, being alone is something I not only spend a lot of time doing, but also thinking about.  I am blessed to have many great friends and family only a half days drive away, but I still spend a big chuck of time alone.  I often cook dinner for one, have solo breakfasts on the weekends, arrive and sit alone in a vacant pew at church, and go to sleep alone at night.  I get a lot of me time, which is great but can get overwhelming at times.  This scary sense of the possibility of always being alone is why I spend a lot of time thinking about it.  I wonder if I will always be alone, and my self preservation instincts kick in and I start convincing myself that I will be okay if I am destined to be single, and I am here to say that I will be, and so will you. 

Recently I had time off of work and found myself flying solo in the city for a week.  While I kinda detest doing certain things alone, let's all be honest...the stares of strangers can chide on anyone's nerves...I forced myself to live outside of my comfort zone.  I stepped out of the unknown and into a museum alone.  It was amazing, I had the freedom to spend as much...or as little...time I wanted in each exhibit.  I also walked aimlessly through foreign neighborhoods for hours and sat down in a restaurant for my first solo sit down meal.  It was hard at times, I'd be lying if I said otherwise, but it was also enlightening.  I proved to myself that I CAN do things alone and not be lonely.  I proved to myself that I CAN have fun myself.  I proved to myself that I DON'T have to miss out on opportunities because I don't have a plus one.  I am very straightforward with everyone in my life that I DO want to meet someone and get married, and at times I still struggle with accepting my perpetual singleness, but I took a HUGE step forward in my solo city site seeing, and if I can venture out solo, so CAN YOU.  Yes it's scary, but some of the best moments in life come because they take you to the edge of what is safe and known and into a world of the unimaginable.  Take a risk this week and do something solo you've never done before.  Trust me, even if it is awkward or scary at first, you won't regret the experience.  Be brave, be alone. 

Fall in Love With Yourself

Have you ever made a New Years resolution and failed to keep it, or sworn up and down you would change only to revert to your old ways?  I know I have, I keep telling myself and telling my friends that I will give up TV one day and I will work out every night.  I keep setting huge expectations for myself, and then when I fail to meet them I feel bad about myself.  I mean come on, it's not my fault that Chicago Fire is my the best show ever and The Blacklist keeps sucking me in for more...is it?  Yes, I know that it is healthy to set goals, but what I want to say is that it is okay to just be you.  Don't try to force yourself to be someone you are not, instead find a way to love who you are.  Yes, I am still setting goals for myself and hope to one day lead a healthier lifestyle, but I am giving myself permission to love the person I am today and love where I am today...and you should too!  Life is not about the destination, it is about the journey.  Take a second to pause today and look around, and be proud of yourself and where you are and love the person that you are.  Maybe you don't have the job you always wanted, or the new purse to show off, or even money for groceries, because yes...life can be hard.  It is hard, but it is beautiful and learning to love yourself and the person you are is just one small step in learning to enjoy the ride.