Breaking the Holding Pattern

If you are a woman like me, you dreamt of falling in love in college and getting a marriage certificate right around the time you earned your diploma.  If you are a woman like me, earning your diploma is a distant memory and a marriage certificate is nowhere in sight.  I have always known deep in my bones that I would fall in love and get married, that I would have the kind of love movies are made about, and while I still believe this sentiment it is now clear that I need to live my own life and not pine away for a romance that has a far different timetable than my own.  Looking back on my life I can see that many of my decisions were based on the notion that I would get married and did not want to miss my chance at meeting my future husband.  I have always had a desire to travel internationally on mission trips, but have not done so.  Thinking to myself, what would happen if I missed my opportunity to meet Mr. Right because I was on the other side of the world.  There is so much wrong with this thought process, my life is so much more than the possibility of meeting someone.  I am writing this because I am confident that I am not the only woman who has made life decisions based on the notion that Prince Charming may be just around the next corner, not the only woman who has passed up opportunities to do something for themselves because of the hope of meeting someone else, not the only woman who has been living in a holding pattern waiting to truly live their life until they become someone's wife.  I have vowed to myself to no longer put my life on hold, I am a beautiful unique woman with many gifts.  I do not need a man to be whole or to validate my existence and while being single can be lonely at times, I know that it is better to live my life fully alone than to settle for anything less than true love.  I still believe wholeheartedly that one day I will meet and marry my perfect match, but until that day I will LIVE my life.  God does not want you or I to wait idly by, but to live and to love ourselves.  I challenge you to break your own holding pattern, do not put off the future or manufacture excuses to not live fully.  Instead, place your faith in God to take care of you and to take care of the future, and live in the now.

Transformation

As I write this the calendar is showing December 20th.  Just 5 more days until Christmas and 11 days left until the year switches over to 2015.  I can't help but think about New Years Resolutions and the new beginning and possibilities that come with the calendar flashing January.  Six months ago I went through a rebirth of sorts: new job, new city, new apt, and a new life.  The past six month of new have gone by in a flash and what was once new and exciting is now routine and gives me a blessed contentedness.  Now, January looms on the horizon and I find myself reflecting on the past six months and excited about the future and what January may hold.  Historically I have never been big on New Years Resolutions, I have made a few as a child (don't fight with my sister & do my chores for example)  but have never been successful at keeping them.  I have found this is because change needs to come about organically and not be manufactured to fit into the calendar and to societies expectations.  This year I feel an undeniable call to transformation, to become closer to God & myself, to watch less TV & read and write more, to talk less & listen more, and to become more patient and less demanding of God.  All too often I find myself trying to manufacture my destiny and force things into place when I need to take the backseat and pray.  Growing up I had a Bible verse hung in my bathroom, I've read more times than I can count yet the words ring true now more than ever:

"For I know the plans I have you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you," Jeremiah 29:11

Trusting in the Lord is key, and I pray for patience and courage to put my faith in him and stop forcing things.  After all, some of the best moments in life are the unexpected.  Here is to a fabulous New Year filled with love and patience and being unabashedly me!