Learning from the Past

It is the dead of winter and while many others are snuggling up with loved ones on cozy couches, I am still braving the harsh realities of winter alone.  I have recently begun making a bigger effort to find love (I even made a vision board) and I have been fortunate enough to go on a few nice dates.  There is one man that I have begun to truly like, which both excites and scares me.  I have become very accustomed to my solo journey and the idea of having a +1 is so foreign I am not sure how to process it.  Over the past month I have come to realize the importance of not repeating past mistakes.  It can be incredibly easy to fall into old habits, even when we know without a doubt how unhealthy they are.

For example, I was in a very toxic relationship a number of years back in which my ex was very controlling and I became so emotionally dependent that I could almost not function when he wasn't around.  I found myself intentionally not making plans or making new friends on the 'off' chance he would text or call or want to see me.  As I result I was constantly checking my phone only to be left with disappointment and sadness and no plans.  Once I realized the toxic nature of our relationship,  I was thankfully able to get out of it and find myself again.  Since then, I have become a whole person again and have created a life for myself that I am proud of and love living.  However, after a month and a half of dating, I found myself repeating old mistakes.  I had a Monday off of work and found that I intentionally did not make plans with friends assuming I would see the man I was dating.  The problem was, we had made no plans and never talked about seeing each other.  Monday came and went and not only did I not see him, I also did not see my friends or accomplish any of the many tasks on my to do list.  Luckily, I realized what I was doing and quickly did an about face and texted a close friend to meet up.  I also made sure to attend all of my regular gym classes that week and signed up for a new rec league...check that one off my vision board!

This is all to say that while being single for an extended period of time can make the dating game difficult to navigate, it is important to remember to still continue being you and continue being the awesome whole complete person you are and to continue loving yourself and your solo life.  You are amazing and beautiful, whether attached or not...always remember that and live your life!